Ideal Job/Employer

My ideal employer is a very compassionate and understanding one. I mean, s/he doesn't scold me when I want to take a leave out on a whim. Plus s/he doesn't count how many absences I make in a week and doesn't ever ask the reasons behind it. I want a job where I could sit throughout working hours with a laptop with an internet connection, playing all my games in Facebook and just surfing the net all day long. I also want an employer who provides me and my family insurance, education, diapers, milk, nanny, laundry, food, hospitalization, etc.

Are you wondering if there's such a job/employer? There is one I know of =)