Big Mistake

The biggest mistake a noob can commit is to take a leave from her duty for 2 consecutive days. It happened to me due to a major burn out. In truth, this is the first time I have experienced a burn out at work. In my previous careers as a copy editor and administrative assistant, there are stressors such as deadlines, performance evaluation, colleagues, and bosses. But being a nurse is an entirely different dimension. Buhay ang nakataya. A nurse must always have a presence of mind and common sense no matter how toxic or stressfull the situation is, ensuring always the safety of herself and her patients. Most of the time, you have to sacrifice your meals and bladder break just to serve all the needs of all your ten (10) patients. If I'm lucky, I would handle 6 patients in the least, but 1 of them is either intubated (his/her life depends on a breathing machine called mechanical ventilator) or feeds via NGT (nasogastric tube that runs from the nose through the stomach). If the patient is intubated, that means I have to go to the patient's room and suction secretions as often as necessary. And I have to feed him/her via NGT so all the medicine tablets will be pulverized by me using mortar and pestle and I have to double check each feeding the patency and placement of the NGT to make sure it's still in the stomach by auscultation using a stethoscope. Aside from these cases, there are still your other 4 patients waiting for your nursing care and other stressors (human beings at their worst) which make your entire shift horribly challenging.

Now, if you happen to be assigned in a toxic ward in every effin' work day, handling the above cases, then burning out would be your body's way of crying out and your best defense mechanism is to take a sick leave in order to survive the next 2 weeks of your contract, right? I thought I could adjust to it because I'm now familiar with the environment and the people. Yes, I handled it well, I got no warning slip or incident report, at least. But when I get home, I just couldn't shake the stress off. It made my nights sleepless. My weight went down to 104 lbs (the only thing I'm happy about). Ikaw ba naman ang hindi makaupo or kumain in 15 minutes kasama na ang toothbrush and powder. I thought of giving up. I asked my close friends' advices. I was so unhappy last week.

Sabi nila, konting tiis lang, there are thousands of jobless nurses out there wanting to have a hospital job in this country blah-blah-blah. So I listened to their blah-blahs which are relevant blahs.

Salamat sa sick leave because it helped me regained my sanity.